It's Court here.
Recently found out that I may have signs of depression.
I may have been suffering from it for longer than I thought. I feel hopeless at times, feeling unworthy or not worth it at times as well.
Tasks or activities that I used to love doing seem pointless or just plain hard to do. I just recently feel hollow or empty. When I'm around people, I seem fine but for those who know me very well, know that I just pack all of my emotions inside.
Awhile back, after a huge argument that involved my dad and my older sister's fiance occurred one day. I woke up to yelling, my sister, having asthma and being stubborn just like my dad, got worked up and was wheezing when she came up to get her things in my room. While my sister's fiance and my dad were still arguing downstairs, my sister screamed down my bedroom vent at my dad to be quiet, before grabbing her stuff and sat down in the upstairs hallway and started wheezing. Me, being a shy and timid person, rarely curse, and so, I got fed up with it. I got up to go over to comfort my sister, I ended up cursing a bit, right as my dad got up the stairs. Right after my older sister and her fiance left, I stood downstairs, basically clutching my arms close. As my older sister and her fiance walked out the door, my younger sister and my mom walked in. After my mom and sister got in the house, I just lost it, cursed then marched outside in the cold with no coat, still clutching my arms close my body. Packing in my emotions, my mom has been worried that one day I might blow up and that day, instead of blowing up, I ended up breaking down and cried, digging my nails into my arm. After that, I felt like nothing.
Lately, I've been having thoughts that life isn't worth it.
Here's a link that shows the symptoms. I fit several of them.www.helpguide.org/mental/depre…